A First Step in Continuing On - Day 115

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/08/my-dad-devil.html

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not believe what I was reading, to think perhaps it was a trick, it couldn't possibly be true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perseverate on the thought, "I will never meet him," where within this thought and my repetition of this thought I am getting myself stuck in a moment in time as the moment of this shift / change in physical reality and this new information, rather than integrating this change into and as myself, existent anew in every new moment of the here and now as what is here in physical reality. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to repeat this thought in my mind as like a brick-by-brick thought-by-thought imprisonment of myself within the past of this morning of the moment I read those words and reacted, realizing that if I allow myself to repeat this thought, there in that moment in that reaction I will remain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wonder then, "What's next? What now?"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about the dissolution of the group, how things might crumble or fall apart, not realizing within this thought that here I am only really thinking about myself -- my own dissolution as my participation in this group, where here I am looking for an excuse or an out, a reason to stop, because here I believe that the group will not continue, the support will not continue, and/or the direction inasmuch as there has been a kind of "leader" will not continue, within this an energetic thought of like, "well, so much for that."

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself thus to be my own self directive principle within these thoughts of myself and my continued self education, direction, expansion, where within the thoughts above I am giving myself as my direction of myself over to the circumstances which have come to pass and my reaction to those circumstances, allowing myself to establish beliefs within my reactions, beliefs by which I will then direct myself, rather than continuing to direct myself within, as, by, and through my breath, in the physical, in self honesty and self responsibility, in honor of myself and all as life.

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to see, realize, and understand how the "group," just like all of humanity, is made up of individuals, and the individual direction determines the direction of the "group," just as of humanity, which is what we have been doing here all along, each changing our individual selves so as to contribute to and change the entirety of life. We are the group. We are humanity. I am the group. I am humanity.

So here now I commit myself to letting go of reactions to continue on into the next moment and all moments thereafter. I commit myself to continue to walk moment by moment, breath by breath, in each moment and breath in the physical of the here and now, as one individual for change, continuing my own self education, self direction, and self expansion, continuing in self honesty, self support, and self responsibility, continuing simply because it is what is best for all and I cannot deny that as the epitome of any life's purpose.



Thanks, Bernard. Thanks, every one.