A Bump in the Road = A Speed Bump = SLOW DOWN - Day 108

Just go slow the whole way, why not.

Two new speed bumps have been added to a road that I frequently drive, and I had to slow down.

These are bumps in the road, obviously, which led me to reflect on the post I recently wrote, specifically the title and how I often frame "problems" as "a bump in the road," where it's still a "problem" but "hey! no need to stress out, just a little bump in the road." But still it is something that forces me to stray from my original plan, where my original plan for example was to drive fast on this road, but now there is this bump here, and I have to slow down.

In slowing down, however, I can see myself. It's been reiterated in multiple places, probably most prominently seen by me in reading Creation's Journey to Life, how one really ought to see the stimuli to one's reactions as being to one's benefit, because within that stimulus one is able to see oneself, thus given the opportunity to see how one reacts and in what ways one has yet to align oneself within the principles of equality and oneness as what is best for all.

So this was emphasized for me when I was first surprised by these new speed bumps, and then when, just a few yards ahead, there was a couple waiting to cross the street. My awareness had been heightened in part due to my surprise, but also due to having to slow down to pass over the bumps. As such, I was better able to co-exist with these other individuals in the physical, outside my mind as my self interest to go fast.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to frame situations or events to which I react as "bad," even if I am trying to minimize their "badness" within rationalizing that it is just "a little bump in the road," not realizing the opportunity within this to see myself and see how I react or respond, if and how I am able to direct myself as my own self directive principle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the value in meeting stimuli to which I react, because this brings a point in front of me to face the point and face myself, to walk through the point as facilitated by the stimulus and understand myself, forgive myself, and commit myself to change, and then to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still feel derailed and hindered by events or situations to which I react, where it is not in fact the event or situation itself which is derailing me, but it is my reaction, where my reaction shows me that I am not stable and thus not able to direct myself absolutely regardless of events, situations, or circumstances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to have "my own plan" for how things / reality should go, how I want it to go, how I expect it to go, such that if an event or situation does not go according to my plan / expectation, I blame the event or situation rather than blaming myself for having set up a plan in the first place, not realizing that I cannot control reality, I can only control myself, and so it is like for instance trying to map out a route to drive in my car that could involve any number of environmental scenarios through which to drive, without first checking to make sure that my car is in operable condition, ie expecting the road to succumb to the needs of my vehicle when I have not even first maintained and stabilized my vehicle.

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to walk through life as whatever happens or occurs, as there is so much which I cannot control or predict, and to rather than focus on "how this will go so that I will be able to achieve or be successful" instead focus simply on myself, stabilizing myself, understanding myself, so that I am constant and stable no matter how anything goes, no matter what unexpected events or situations occur.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become somewhat peeved when for example I approach a literal speed bump in the road because I like to drive fast and I do not want to slow down, and yet within slowing down I am able to look around me and be more aware of my surroundings, and within this I am able to exist in greater equality and oneness within and as the physical with all life, where there are now people crossing the street and if I had not had to slow down for that speed bump I would not have been able to respond to this new environmental factor as these people crossing the street with as much awareness or integrity because I would have been more concerned with my own self interest as speeding down this street near residential buildings.

So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become upset when I encounter an event or situation that is different from what I had planned or expected or wanted, to resist the change and become reactive about the change, wishing the change was not there, rather than simply slowing down, stopping, and breathing, and realigning myself within this change as what is occurring within the physical and directing myself in self honesty within the principle of equality and oneness, doing what makes most sense within common sense as what is best for all, and also seeing here a challenge and facilitated opportunity to slow down and see myself, see my reactions, see who I am, and CHANGE MYSELF in the face of this perceived "change" in reality.


I forgive myself also for not accepting or allowing myself to see, realize, and understand how ALL points to which I react are thus opportunities to see myself, where even if it is not the sort of thing that I might identify as "a bump in the road" in terms of it being a variation away from what I had planned/expected in terms of scheduling for example, it is still a stimulus to which I am reacting and therefore an opportunity really to see myself, and so again thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the stimulus for my reaction and also to judge myself within my reaction, rather than slowing down, stopping, and breathing, and seeing myself as my reaction without judgment, understanding who I am within this reaction and that to which I am reacting, and then taking this opportunity to walk through this or these points in self honesty and self responsibility.


So when and as I see myself becoming reactive about unexpected events or situations, or any stimulus to which I react and then reacting to that reaction and becoming stressed out and upset that this is all happening, I stop and I breathe. I realize that reacting to my reactions is not supporting me. I realize that resisting what is happening and resisting myself within my original reactions to the unexpected stimulus is not supporting me, it is like taking two steps back when I should be focusing on continuing a step forward. I realize that if I am reacting, then this is an opportunity to see points within myself which I must face and walk through. So I commit myself to really slowing down, and looking around, and looking within. Who am I? Why? What specifically is my reaction? Why? I commit myself to writing this out, without judgment, to seeing this as an opportunity to see myself as the physical reality of who I am, and to align myself thus within equality and oneness within and as myself within the physical, to use this stimulus as a facilitated opportunity to see myself, and to see how I can change. So I commit myself to releasing myself from the meta reaction of reacting to my reaction, of wishing this wasn't happening, and instead to simply seeing myself here with this environmental "shift" away from what I expected, seeing how I set myself in opposition to reality through the manufacturing of plans within my mind, and seeing how my reactions are not serving me to actually support myself and direct myself through this point in reality which I cannot change -- but I can change myself.