More on Feeling Tired - Day 47

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretty well waste the majority of my day through and as an experience of myself as "tired" and "hot."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed at the list of things I have established as wanting to accomplish today.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accomplish tasks one by one until they are done but instead have delayed on starting any tasks at all within a reaction of overwhelmingness.

I see that I allowed myself to take a nap and that even after this nap I still feel tired and hot, and am also in a position now to judge myself for having taken a nap and having wasted time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for my choice to take a nap, a choice which I made in full awareness of myself and what I was doing and what potential consequences there might be, also within the realization that maybe I would feel rested and it was better to allow myself a nap earlier in the day than at night.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blow off social invitations in favor of loafing around pretending like I'm trying to be productive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see what I want to have accomplished by the end of the day but to not do anything during the day to accomplish those things. What am I thinking here? Magic will get my chores done for me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react through and as paralysis and stagnation in reaction to my experience of myself as overwhelmed in reaction to the tasks I have to accomplish and also upcoming events/tasks this week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is "too much" and within this to just not do anything at all, rather than to try to reframe how much I really have to do (which is certainly not too much at all) or to try to actually do some of it so that what is left seems more manageable to my whiny self.

I forgive myself that I often accept and allow myself to, in reaction to an experience of myself as overwhelmed wherein I allow myself to think it is "too much," I basically give up and shut down and "don't want to deal with any of it."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within "should" and "shouldn't" in terms of what I should and shouldn't do and what should and shouldn't be difficult to do and what my experience of myself should and shouldn't be, rather than to look at what IS and to address/face what IS and to direct myself within what IS without judgment.


When and as I see myself in a state of stagnation or paralysis especially as a reaction to feeling overwhelmed and identifying what is before me as "too much," I stop and I breathe. I realize that within this I am not accomplishing anything at all and thus more is piling up to be done. I also realize that within these judgments of "too much" and "should/shouldn't," I am existing within and as my mind rather than within and as the physical. I have seen that I have an easier time accomplishing tasks, such as cleaning, when I let go of the judgments and attachments and simply AM and simply SEE and simply DO on the basis of what in that moment needs to be done. I realize too that it is totally okay to relax and to spend some time in leisure activities or even to take a nap if I have time, and that once again I am self-sabotaging by judging myself within and as these activities rather than simply being, seeing, and doing from the starting-point of self-honesty and self-responsibility within time and space in the physical. I realize that I have a right to enjoy life and in fact I am more productive when I am consistently enjoying life and that bogging myself down with judgments contributes to paralysis and stagnation. So here I commit myself to take proactive practical steps toward accomplishing tasks when and as I experience myself as overwhelmed. I commit myself to stop judging myself within my choices of how I spend my time and instead to be, see, and do in self-honesty and self-responsibility to where, if and when I see that a particular choice was not the best choice, I know to adjust, but meanwhile I am always moving, directing myself, not stagnant.

See also: Feeling Tired as an Excuse from Life - Day 43
Also I downloaded Tired Eyes - Reptilians - Part 196 to assist and support myself here.
I will probably post my Week 7 Reflections tomorrow or later this week, covering Days 41-46.