Phrasing of Self Forgiveness - Day 101

In the past when I first began writing self forgiveness I almost exclusively wrote:

"I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to..."

I would then vary sometimes into saying:

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to..."

where I saw a distinction that with the former it was like something I was actively doing, ongoing, or that I did very recently, and with the latter it was something that was already behind me in my past.

I have now gotten into a groove of almost exclusively using the latter phrasing option and I find that it is like putting a distance between myself and my behavior, like a separation of time where I can, in writing "I have done this" rather than "I am actively doING this," so that I can put that little bit of distance between myself and the behavior and not fully acknowledge / take responsibility that it is something that is happenING here now as who I am, thus not effectively cleansing it through my writing through my ownership of my behavior.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself through the use of my self forgiveness phrasing in order to place distance between myself and my actions/behavior to make it seem to me like I am not actively involved presently within that which I am writing about, but that there is instead like a degree of separation which allows me to abdicate full ownership or responsibility for myself as who I am within that which I am writing about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write out "I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to" while in my mind thinking/believing that this means it is automatically a thing of my past, that it is something I "have" done but I will not do it again and in fact I am not even doing it now or anymore, so that within this I can feel better about it like as if it is my "past self" who did that and not actually ME.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this distinction in my mind to have this back chat about this phrasing and to basically evade responsibility for myself as I am in the process of writing myself out in an effort to take responsibility for myself.


When and as I see myself typing my self forgiveness statements without consideration of the specific words I am using, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is a step in this process of writing myself to freedom and investigating myself. I realize that part of what is important here is to actually write, and sound, these words out, and that what I write and sound is like a reprogramming of myself. So I realize that what words I use and what those words mean to me is important in terms of how I am thus reprogramming myself. So I realize that it is not 'bad' to use the words "I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to" but I see that I have created a relationship with this specific phrasing that is unsupportive and evasive of full responsibility, and also that along with my back chat that has been existing with typing out these words I am enforcing this evasion of responsibility within myself. I commit myself therefore to remaining present within my self forgiveness statement writing, to selecting my words with consideration of what is self honest, and to seeing and changing myself when I am allowing back chat or evasion within the words I choose. I commit myself to ensuring that as I walk this process I do so with integrity and diligence, not as an automaton and not half-assed, as here in my writing is the first place that I can practice self honesty in the most self supportive way.