"The Whole World is Against Me!" - Day 79

In my last post I talked about this sense of a thought that "the whole world is against me" and how this thought stems from an experience of "things not going right" or "everything going wrong," and how this thought tends to lead to an experience of depression, because, within the belief of this thought or sense, why not give up?

But now I ask:

Why is this always the structure of that sentence?

Why not see and realize that if I am to believe this sentence, then shouldn't I also believe that I am against the whole world?

And if I am against the whole world, then that means I am against what is occurring within reality.

Which makes obvious sense based on what I wrote about yesterday. I have set plans of how I would like certain things to go. I imagine futures that I want to happen. I imagine series of events that I wish to have play out. I expect other people to say or do a certain thing, to be a certain way. I expect and rely on technology to work as it is "supposed to." So many expectations and assumptions that are based on what I want, how I want things to go. And when things do not go this way, I automatically believe that "the whole world is against me," not realizing that within all of these expectations, I have placed myself in opposition to and separation from the world as the physical reality of what is happening in each moment.

Not to mention as well that this is another self/ego-centric starting point where I am expecting the world to revolve / work around me. It also reminds me of how so many people, myself included, often do not realize that if you continually encounter "problems" in various areas of life, then it does not make much sense to blame others or to blame "the world." If problems follow you around, you're probably the one creating them. So if it seems like "everything is going wrong," probably I am the one who is going wrong.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the whole world is against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to this belief when I feel like a lot of different things are "going wrong" and I begin to feel out of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that any lack of control that I sense is because of external factors and not because I am choosing not to direct and control myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to direct and control myself within self honesty and self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to take responsibility for myself as my actions, my words, my choices of who I am within the physical as well as within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in opposition to and separation from the rest of the world as what is happening in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design and imagine expectations and plans of how I want things to go, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto these expectations and plans even in the face of things going a different way within reality.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be flexible, to be able to move with what is required of me as what is presented to me within physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame all of this on "the world" where within this any time that things don't go "my way" it is because "the whole world is against me," not realizing that in fact I am the one who is against the world, against physical reality as it actually is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be "against the world" and that within this I have not accepted or allowed myself to support myself as one to and equal with all life as what is best for all, because within this I have accepted and allowed myself to separate and sever myself from the world, from life, from what is best for all, and what is best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a place of blame, powerlessness, and helplessness rather than stopping, breathing, and having a look at who I am and in what I am participating that is creating this experience or these experiences.

When and as I see myself thinking/believing that "the whole world is against me," I stop and I breathe. I realize this is not possible. I realize this is a sure sign that I am not seeing myself within self honesty and self responsibility. I realize that this abdication of responsibility for myself and my well being and my ability to support myself is one of the "warning signs" that I will likely soon enter a "depressed state." I commit myself to looking at myself and seeing how I have placed myself in opposition to/separation from the world through/as my expectations/wants/desires/"needs" and to bring myself back to my breath as the physical with and as reality as equal to and one with all life, as what is best for all.