Source of Support: Self or Other - Day 20

I feel like there's some bullshit here I'm not quite managing to cut through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a sense of lack within myself to where I feel like I need someone else to affirm me and validate me in order for me to feel "okay."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a sense of myself as being incomplete, wherein I experience myself as inferior and as needing someone else to make me whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a sense of lack within myself to where I feel like I need someone else to provide me with a look, a smile, a hug, or a short conversation to "refuel" or "recharge" me, ie re-energize my mind into a positive feeling state to get out of my negative feeling state.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a sense of lack and believing that that lack is inherent within me and can only be fulfilled by an external source.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as the belief that I cannot stand by myself for myself and that I need another to support me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an energy shift from negativity into positivity when I get attention from a desired source.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always be looking to what I think I need, neglecting to look at what is happening within and as myself, who I am being in the moment of that need, how I am creating that sense of need, and abdicating responsibility for who I am and my creation of lack and need, placing that responsibility outside myself for someone else to make me who I want to be and for someone else to fulfill my self-created needs.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support myself not only through action, as I have been practicing by pushing through resistances, but within and as my thoughts toward myself about myself to where the main thoughts I tell myself are ones which do not support myself as one as equal as life but instead diminish myself and my abilities and my worth/value within my world and my relationships.


When and as I see myself participating within and as a sense of need from external sources, I stop and I breathe.

I realize that by creating need within myself and placing the solution to my needs outside myself I am abdicating responsibility for myself and prolonging my process toward stability and self-trust. I realize that when I see myself participating within and as a sense of lack and need for validation from an external source, it is then that I can practice validating myself and supporting myself, and herein I will find stability and strength and self-trust that I can stand by myself for myself as one as equal as life.

I commit myself to really stop and breathe so that I can come back to myself honestly and assess how and why I am creating need and how and why I am participating within and as a sense of lack within myself. I commit myself to continue to explore how I can build stability and self-trust within myself. I commit myself to practice validating and supporting myself through my thought, word, and deed so that I can know myself honestly and be responsible for myself and the world.

When and as I see myself participating within and as thoughts about myself which diminish my abilities and my worth as one as equal as life, I stop and I breathe.

I realize that I am abusing myself and that by not providing support for myself I am contributing to my created need for support and validation from external sources. I realize that while I can find stability and self-trust by pushing through my physical and mind energy resistances to my process, I am still not supporting myself within and as my mind such that whatever progress I make is negated and devalued by the thoughts I participate within and as about myself.

I commit myself to really stop and breathe so that I can come back to myself honestly and see how and why I am choosing to abuse myself through my thoughts about myself, my abilities, and my worth. I commit myself to changing my thought patterns to be more supportive of myself within self-honesty and self-responsibility so that I can see myself as one as equal as life.